My baby is so restless that I can’t sleep at all if she is in the bed with me. But if she is in the other room I can’t sleep either, in case she is not alright, and I don’t hear her. I am trying out having her cot in my bedroom and so far that is a really good compromise for all of us. However I am concerned that we will disturb her at night.

When babies are restless at night, it is generally because they are experiencing REM sleep, during which they dream. Babies experience far more REM sleep than adults, and it is an important aspect of brain development. So if baby seems restless it is unlikely that you are disturbing her, and the opposite is more likely to be true and your sleep is being disrupted.

If this is an arrangement that works for you and you feel comfortable with it, then stick with it. It is a good way to ensure that you hear baby when she calls, and it is easy to monitor her especially if she is sick. It is a compromise that works for many families, as the baby is close enough for security, but everyone still has a bit of space.

However you need to be sure that you are not going to her every time she murmurs. Babies go through light periods of sleep at the end of every REM cycle, and learning to fall asleep again when they are in this light sleep is an important skill for babies to learn. So let her be a bit restless, and see if she falls asleep again, rather than dashing to her every time she whimpers. However, if you feel she is hungry, you are close enough to feed her and get her back to sleep quickly without her waking up too much.

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