I am desperate for my baby to sleep, but I tried controlled crying, and I just gave up because I couldn’t bear the crying. What else can I try?

You could try a variation of controlled crying, but need to be aware that it can take longer than the straight forward controlled crying method.

Before you embark on it, think carefully about anything that may be unsettling your baby or causing her to wake up. Set up a nice bedtime routine, and stick to it rigidly. Make sure it is a gentle and happy time, so that baby is calm and content when she goes to bed. Make sure she is warm enough, but not too warm. Make sure her room is dark and quiet. Give her a good feed before bedtime, and experiment with nappies until you find a night time arrangement that suits her. Even if you are in favour of cloth nappies, it may be worth investigating the superabsorbent night time disposables, to see if having her dry for longer aids her sleep.

Put her into her cot, and then go out for a few minutes. When she starts to cry, go back in and turn her onto her side facing away from you. Tell her to go to sleep, and then pat her for a minute or two, until she seems calm. Then leave the room again. Every time you go out, you should wait two minutes longer before going back in. Do not chat to your baby or make eye contact. Roll her onto her side every time, and pat her for a few minutes until she is calm. Then leave the room. Try not to pat her until she is asleep, as the point of the exercise is to teach her to fall asleep herself. You will probably have to continue with this for quite some time until she realises that you serious, gives up and goes to sleep.

Make sure that once she is asleep that you go back into the room and turn her onto her back.

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